Thinking Thursday... Step 10!

As many of you are probably aware from seeing the news we're suffering with some beastly snow this week... Yesterday much of it cleared and I got to thinking we'd seen the back of it and life would get back to normal once more. Boy was a wrong as these photos of my run will show you! So once more D'boy is home and able to play with Tigmut'hep all day, keeping him outta my furs and leaving me extra time for snuggling with My Mummy! :) What's more My Mummy is roasting us a chicken later today to make us all feel better about this beastly weather as she was able to go and do the weekly food hunting last night while the roads were clear. My Mummy says that the real issue with snow in the UK is that very few people here know how to drive in it and they're a danger to everyone else... Well that plus the fact that it's not -30C or there abouts when the snow and ice goes all strange and not slippery any more. It's amazing just how much My Mummy knows about this horrid white stuff! Then again My Mummy knows lots about lots of things... :) Best of all she knows lots about feeding me wonderful dinners and giving me extra special cuddles!

Anyway D'Boy is being useful and is shoveling the snow so it's safe for Daddy when he comes home for his lunch and to feed me bikky! I guess that's really been my 10th Step in getting Daddy well trained... Oh yes he now comes home every lunchtime to be with me and feed me bikky from my special bikky pot! Since he started doing this he's a lot more relaxed and content, so it just goes to show the benifits of training your Daddy properly... I mean how many Daddy's get to come home to a loving Aby mancat every lunchtime and have the privilage of hand feeding him a little bikky?! Yes, I know I now treat my Daddy well, but he's worked hard to get to this level of training and as such I must keep on rewarding him a little. At this rate I fear I will one day have to let him pick me out without attempting to disembowl him... ;)

Thinking Thursday & Step 9 - Operation Daddy...

There has been a lot to think about of late, from sadness and worry to what to call Isis kittens when they arrive! I must say I thought the name "never late for dinner" was a good one, but it seems Mummy has other ideas! ;) Talking of dinners, it seems that our latest order from Royal Canin has arrived today and Mummy has changed Tigmut'hep and myself onto a dry food that will make Tigmut'hep chew his food for once and not just stick his face in the bowl and swallow what ever he can! I'm pleased because it's mostly made of dried up fishes and is very easy on the tummy... Isis likes it too, but at present she mostly eats her own separate bikky that has loads of calories in it and all the calcium her growing babies require too! I think we'll have this new bikky mixed with the oral care stuff we always have as a part of our diet. We've had some of this fishy bikky before as a trial and so Mummy knows we like it and it's easy on my belly... I think I'm really looking forward to Daddy coming home at lunchtime now so he can open up the big bag and pour it into our food buckets so Mummy can feed us! :)

Step 9 - Operation Daddy: By now your Daddy will be making plenty of room for you in the bed, as well as calling you to bed and feeding you treats when ever you demand them. So to all intents and purposes he's a very good Daddy now and will only rarely need an application of the "cold shoulder" as you flaunt your devotion to your Mummy in his face to bring him back in line! But never forget that this is essential to his remaining properly trained and under your control... If you forget this essential step you will find him thinking he's in control and that you should listen to him! Oh yes, he'll get all "Lord and Master" and treat you like an obedient woffy and not as his obvious intelectual superior feline Controler! To prevent this sort of tragic mistake you must always remain vigulent and be ready to assert your dominance... It is much easier to keep your Daddy under control than it is to retain one who has delusions of grandure and status! In extreem cases it may be easier to find yourself a new Daddy than to reform an existing poor model. Once they know this however they may suddenly rehabilitate themselves! So if you do find you have let your Daddy laps into these bad ways you can not only throw yourself at your Mummy showing adoration and devotion, but start to do so to any male visitors you might have! Remember when doing this sort of thing you must totally shun the advances of your Daddy until they are once more made on "your terms"! :)

Step 8 - Operation Daddy etc...

Now that you are getting sufficient room in bed and for that matter called to bed every night by your Daddy for fussing and treats, I must say you are doing pretty well - as am I! :) The only things left to teach your Daddy are subtle refinements and improvements in the way he treats you. My first goal and therefore my Step 8, has been to teach Daddy to fuss me gently in his sleep...

Therefore Step 8 is quite difficult as you're trying to train your Daddy's unconscious brain, so his fussing of you becomes as natural a reflex to him as does rolling over in his sleep to make more room in bed for you! You must therefore go about this with the most gentle of touches so as not to wake the slumbering Daddy... Oh yes just a feather soft touch with a velvet paw will work, though if he remains stubborn you are free to use a little more force, such as the violent headbutt or the claw of death - however this will result in your Dad waking up in a very bad mood, so use them sparingly. The real trick to training your Daddy's subconscious mind is to work on him as he drifts off to sleep and to wake up early to start work on him again the second the radio alarm goes off. If a Dad can fall to sleep fussing you softly and in a pleasing way to you and wake up doing the same, it takes very little for the sleeping brain to work out what it is supposed to be doing when prompted by the touch of your paw... This sort of training is really worthwhile, especially for those Dad's who seem to spend a lot of the day hunting for the family food. It gives you all the time you could want for your fussing with Daddy, while letting him get some vital sleep - I mean you don't want him too weak and tired to hunt you down some yummy treats! Oh no that would be a very bad thing... :( However a Daddy who can fuss you in his sleep will relax deeply and feel more refreshed in the morning, ready to go and tackle the world to get you your rightful treats and dinners! :)

Once you have your Daddy trained in this way you really will have a Daddy to be proud of, though remember to settle for nothing less than purrfection! ;)

On another note I'm having to spend a lot of time cuddling My Mummy right now as she found out yesterday on Grandpurrs 82nd Birthday that Grammy is in hospital (in fact the same one that My Marie's Mommy visits all the time) for a bloodclot in her leg and a suspected tumour in her abdomen, which they haven't been able to biopsy as yet due to the need to bust the clot first. Since Grandpurr is not well domesticated My Mummy's pretty concerned about his ability to look after himself properly, as well as for what is happening to Grammy - especially since she's only just started to recover from having 3 of her 4 parathyroids removed in December. With Isis pregnant too, Mummy's very much bound to be here for the birth and the first few weeks of the kittens lives as she doesn't take her responsibility to us lightly... So if you suddenly notice we're missing for a week or so, you know we're ok and that Mummy's making a mad dash to Calgary. In the meantime, please purr that Grammy is ok and that My Mummy doesn't have to go, cause we just hate it when she's away - even if Daddy is far better trained then he used to be, he's just not My Mummy!

Step 7 - Operation Daddy

Now that your Daddy is swift at responding to your demands for him to click the clicker and dole out the treats, you can try softening him up at bedtime! Yes, I know it's a big step but it's very worthwhile as he's pretty big and takes up quite a lot of the bed... ;)

You have already established that your place in bed is right between him and Your Mummy and bedtime just doesn't feel right to him without your presence, now start to rub up against him on your way up the bed to your favourite cuddle spot with Your Mummy. A few headbutts can go a long way to making him give up extra bed space to his new "snuggle buddy". Just make sure that you give him a few extra rubs and headbutts when he's been extra good and warmed up the space he's willingly handing over to you and soon you'll have a well warmed and softened up space to occupy between your beloved Mummy and your Daddy. Oh yes that's right everykitty, you must keep them apart or they'll forget to focus all their love and attention on you at bedtime! If you're like myself and have the additional pleasure of sharing your home with one of your very own siblings, or even a co-operative buddy, (that's NOT how I'd discribe Tigmut'hep, ok!) you can get them to help out by holding down their favoured person (even if that also happens to be Your Mummy, just as long as you and they don't vie for the same part of Your Mummy, it'll work) think of the big picture here and go for every square inch of bed space you can... Once this has been achieved life will be so much sweeter and you'll be able to sleep comfortably between your beans all night long if you wish, without fear of getting squished in the process.

So there you have it, a Daddy who gives you treats on command, who can't sleep without you and who gives you plenty of room in the bed while keeping away from Your Mummy and all you've had to do was acknowledge his existance and let him fuss your glorious furs while on occasion giving him a few headbutts! You're ready for the final steps on the road to making your Daddy Better! :)

Thinking Thursday - Step 5 - Operation Daddy!

Step 5 - Now that your Daddy has started to understand that he must work very hard to earn your love and attention, he will become a man driven! Oh yes you can now show him how to earn a little more attention from you on a regular basis - for this I suggest investing in a clicker, so that you can train him properly...

You see male beans are not as intuitive as the females and this is why we need to put in that little bit of extra effort into training them. As most of you will know a female bean pretty much knows what is going on inside your head most of the time and can therefore anticipate your needs and demands. There are of course come female beans such as my poor long suffering friend Yao-lin's slave who are not so well equipped in this department, after studying this and Isis interviewing the slave, I have come to believe it's some form of retardation... See Yao-lin, it's not your fault she's untrainable! ;) However most males are trainable if you put in the initial effort...

So now you have a clicker and a supply of treats and a Daddy who is desirous of your attention. Soon you will be able to get him to click and offer you a treat as and when you require one. Oh yes with a little effort your Daddy will become very well clicker trained and will understand the need to get it out at regular intervals throughout the day. His reward for clicking the clicker and giving you a treat will be your brief tolerance of him being close to you and maybe, just maybe you headbutting him - remember not to give him too much attention too soon or he'll loose his driving desire to do what it takes to get your attention too. Oh and it never hurts to go over to your Mummy after he's been feeding you treats and start falling all over her and smothering her in love, affection and furs!

This weeks motto for Training a Better Daddy is: keep 'em keen and treat 'em mean!

Belated Mancat Moanday

Yes, you're right it's not Monday and I'm moaning... I had to spend a good 90 squillion hours on my own yesterday while My Mummy went off to collect Isis from Solo's house! :( She should know I don't approve of her leaving the house by now, especially if it's collect my whoremoanall sister from her long weekend of fun... I mean I've been deserted by My Mummy and betrayed by my 'sis - she should know she's not allowed to go off an have fun without me! So all in all I'm in a bit of a grump according to My Mummy...

I guess the good news is that Isis is back, even if she smells strange - regardless of My Mummy's efforts to give her a good dry bath before bringing her home! I guess it coud be worse, but it takes me ages to get Isis smelling just right and it takes effort you know... Firstly I have to sniff her all over to assess the damage and then I have to give her a bit of a groom, then it's off to bed for her so that she picks up the lovely scent of My Mummy's bed! Then it's making her fuss D'boy, Dad and My Mummy to pick up the right mixture of their scents, add to that a hint of cat food and a few Tigmut'hep licks and she'll be getting close to smelling correct - but it's going to take me days!

Anyway back to training Daddy I think - I guess I've been neglecting my training sessions with him what with Isis being away and all... Oh well never fear I shall have Daddy feeding me from the plam of his hand in no time! ;)

PS: I hear I have some post to inspect later! :) Thanks to everycat who has sent us a KissMouse Card and to the Beans who've been sending Mummy postcards - we just love to sniff those they're so interesting! :)

Step 2 - Operation Dad

Now that you have spent the past week or so making your Daddy bean feel really unwanted, unloved and generally in the way of your relationship with your Mummy. By now he should be just about ready for the next step in the process... ;) That's right you're one step closer to having him wrapped around your little dew claw! :)

Step Two:
Operation Dad should continue along the same lines as you've already gone to pains to establish. That of your adoration of you Mummy and general acceptance of any strange females who come to visit, while grumping at him and avoiding him where ever possible. You can now add in the occasional hiss, directed at your Daddy bean if he comes too close to you. You must convince him that he is persona non grata to really make this work! Now you might also like to try out the full ears back treatment just to make 100% sure that he feels unwanted and most sincerely unworthy of your affections. During this time, never once forget to fuss your Mummy and show her undying devotion on an epic scale! This will add to your Daddy bean's frustration and a growing desire to be one of your "chosen few", if you feel it's necessary even start to let some male visitors fuss you while rejecting your Daddy totally. Oh yes your Daddy must feel total and utter rejection, even bordering on thought that you might actually hate him! Soon you will see he'll be putty in your paws... ;)

Now that you've built your rejection of your Dad's advances to a massive crescendo, his self esteem has hit rock bottom and he can clearly see that you have replaced him in your Mummy's affections too; phrases like "I'm going to bed early tonight dear, the cat wants to cuddle, don't bother coming up early yourself you know he doesn't like that" should start appearing. When this happens you'll be ready for Step 3 as at last your Dad will know his place in life! :)

Ten Steps to a Better Dad! ;)

Recently I have noticed a worrying trend amongst my friends, that of poor parenting from their beans... It seems that quite often the Daddy beans are worse than the Mummy ones, or at least that's the case here. So I have decided to dedicate one day a week for the next 10 weeks into offering you all a little advise on wrapping your Daddy beans around your little dew claw! ;)

Step One:
Operation Dad should commence with the establishment of a few basic facts, mainly that you see your Mummy as a far superior bean. In fact it will help your cause to flaunt yourself at any strange lady who happens to come and visit, this will establish in your Dad's mind a feeling of deep inferiority - this should trigger his male desire to always be better than most women at stuff! ;) Walking past your Dad and ignoring him while focusing lavish attention on your Mummy will only but enhance this feeling to grow within him. When snuggling in bed with your Mummy, make sure that you always give your Dad a goodly view of your butt, especially after consuming large amounts of volatile cat food if you get my drift! ;) There is after all nothing quite like a good blast of bad cat gas to gain a persons attention... Now remember to cuddle close to your Mummy during the night and push hard with your paws against your Dad, so that he knows your trying to usurp his position in bed. By now he should be utterly convinced that you're Mummy's little lover boy and he's barely tolerated at best. You'll need to keep this up for a while if you really wish to train your Dad, as bean men are notoriously stubborn about changing their ways...

Once your Dad is totally convinced that you barely tolerate his existence, you too will be ready for the second step towards a Better Dad! Drop by next week to find out how to start moulding your Dad into the kind of Daddy a cat really wants... :)