Recently I have noticed a worrying trend amongst my friends, that of poor parenting from their beans... It seems that quite often the Daddy beans are worse than the Mummy ones, or at least that's the case here. So I have decided to dedicate one day a week for the next 10 weeks into offering you all a little advise on wrapping your Daddy beans around your little dew claw! ;)
Operation Dad should commence with the establishment of a few basic facts, mainly that you see your Mummy as a far superior bean. In fact it will help your cause to flaunt yourself at any strange lady who happens to come and visit, this will establish in your Dad's mind a feeling of deep inferiority - this should trigger his male desire to always be better than most women at stuff! ;) Walking past your Dad and ignoring him while focusing lavish attention on your Mummy will only but enhance this feeling to grow within him. When snuggling in bed with your Mummy, make sure that you always give your Dad a goodly view of your butt, especially after consuming large amounts of volatile cat food if you get my drift! ;) There is after all nothing quite like a good blast of bad cat gas to gain a persons attention... Now remember to cuddle close to your Mummy during the night and push hard with your paws against your Dad, so that he knows your trying to usurp his position in bed. By now he should be utterly convinced that you're Mummy's little lover boy and he's barely tolerated at best. You'll need to keep this up for a while if you really wish to train your Dad, as bean men are notoriously stubborn about changing their ways...
Once your Dad is totally convinced that you barely tolerate his existence, you too will be ready for the second step towards a Better Dad! Drop by next week to find out how to start moulding your Dad into the kind of Daddy a cat really wants... :)