Thursday, 13 November 2008

Ten Steps to a Better Dad! ;)

Recently I have noticed a worrying trend amongst my friends, that of poor parenting from their beans... It seems that quite often the Daddy beans are worse than the Mummy ones, or at least that's the case here. So I have decided to dedicate one day a week for the next 10 weeks into offering you all a little advise on wrapping your Daddy beans around your little dew claw! ;)

Step One:
Operation Dad should commence with the establishment of a few basic facts, mainly that you see your Mummy as a far superior bean. In fact it will help your cause to flaunt yourself at any strange lady who happens to come and visit, this will establish in your Dad's mind a feeling of deep inferiority - this should trigger his male desire to always be better than most women at stuff! ;) Walking past your Dad and ignoring him while focusing lavish attention on your Mummy will only but enhance this feeling to grow within him. When snuggling in bed with your Mummy, make sure that you always give your Dad a goodly view of your butt, especially after consuming large amounts of volatile cat food if you get my drift! ;) There is after all nothing quite like a good blast of bad cat gas to gain a persons attention... Now remember to cuddle close to your Mummy during the night and push hard with your paws against your Dad, so that he knows your trying to usurp his position in bed. By now he should be utterly convinced that you're Mummy's little lover boy and he's barely tolerated at best. You'll need to keep this up for a while if you really wish to train your Dad, as bean men are notoriously stubborn about changing their ways...

Once your Dad is totally convinced that you barely tolerate his existence, you too will be ready for the second step towards a Better Dad! Drop by next week to find out how to start moulding your Dad into the kind of Daddy a cat really wants... :)

14 comments:

Sen, Tama and Tom said...

You are obviously working very hard, Ramses, and it is an uphill struggle!

We don't have a daddy here, just #1 who seems to have more than the usual number of hands for scritches and always takes time to love us. But we do get regular visits from Uncle U who helped us into the world and looked after us when we were tiny, and he really knows how to looks after us, except that he is a bit obsessed with grooming...

Your Red Brother,
Sen-Chan (and tiny ruddy sister Tama-Chan!!!)

Ramses said...

Mmmm... obsessed with grooming - I need an Uncle like that myself! ;)

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Ramses, that is some good advice on training Daddies! I have to admit, however, that I have mine trained really good, he knows he has to lay on his back in bed at night so I can lay on his lap! And he knows in the morning after I tell him about it that I want to lay on his lap at the kitchen table! I guess I am just a Daddy's girl ... hee hee! Sam and Simon can get their way with him too pretty much too! I guess we are lucky kitties!
Purrs and headbutts,
Sabrina

Silver said...

Hairy Ankles is the dad-bean here. Ankles knows he secretly visits with me in the night, but she doesn't "find out."

Things that get money are the way to Hairy Ankles heart. I just found out that you get money if I click on the google ad up top! Click click!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Umm... no matter what I do the male does not improve. I firmly believe he is defective, although he is good at Gangster Battle on Facebook.

The Furry Kids said...

I want to sign up for this class!!!

EG

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

This is very informative and aptly timed! My Tall Man is just not up to my standards and I need help!

Kaze

Shadow / Molly said...

Yoo know what we has discovered, Troo has some vile farts too! heh heh It makes the mom turn round and make gag noises! hehe

Lux said...

LOL, I will be back to see what other steps need to be taken.

Thanks so much for visiting me, Ramses, and telling the story about your teeny missing teeth! Oh, and for the purrs, too!

michico*Adan said...

Wowww....
This is a very very good class.
I might ask Arion come to take the class as well.

Team Tabby said...

We've been trying to train dadbean to give us a snack in the middle of the night. We will be attentive to your advice.

Mindy, moe, Bono

The Fluffy Tribe said...

The only one that dad takes the time to take care of is Rabbie. Sometimes we just throw our paws in the air. It is really strange. We have noticed he does get jealous of the luvs we give mom though ~The Fluffy Tribe

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Nina the Torbie said...

Oh, Ramses, Victor has completely mastered Step 1! He squirms between Mom and Dad every night. Dad even gave him a whole bowl of chicken from dinner tonight! But there's always room for improvement. Dad almost never Zoom Grooms Victor. I'm taking notes!
Purrs, Nina