Thursday, 27 November 2008

Step 3 - Operation Daddy!

Now that Daddy feels rejected and hopeless offer him a small glimpse of hope! Just look at him with your big pleading eyes and then at the bikky pot, eventually a good Daddy will work out what this means... Soon you'll have access to the bikky you desire at a moments notice as your Daddy will have at long last found a way of getting close to you! ;) You should encourage this, but carefully or he may start restricting your access to the bikky for fear you'll turn into a bloater and he'll get told off by your Mummy. Keep your Daddy working hard for every scrap of attention you might offer him, it's just like fishing really... :)

Your Daddy will now also let you get away with more at bedtime as his need to please you will have greatly increased when you agreed to let him feed you treats on demand. Use this to your advantage and get yourself the prime bed location for sleeping and fussing each night you feel like it now! Once your Daddy has accepted the fact that you should at all time remain firmly snuggles between him and your Mummy, he will start to find it hard to sleep without you... Soon you will be called to bed and offered time to settle and get yourself comfy before he calls it a night, don't give in too quickly and remember to make him work for every inch you give so that he fully appreciates the privilege!

Soon you'll be ready for the next step...

Today marks my 3rd Gottcha Day, so I shall be making my demands known very loudly - so far this has resulted in a late night bowl of Applaws last night and some Reindeer Pate food for breakfast, so keep up the good work and know it will one day pay off big time! :)

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Step 2 - Operation Dad

Now that you have spent the past week or so making your Daddy bean feel really unwanted, unloved and generally in the way of your relationship with your Mummy. By now he should be just about ready for the next step in the process... ;) That's right you're one step closer to having him wrapped around your little dew claw! :)

Step Two:
Operation Dad should continue along the same lines as you've already gone to pains to establish. That of your adoration of you Mummy and general acceptance of any strange females who come to visit, while grumping at him and avoiding him where ever possible. You can now add in the occasional hiss, directed at your Daddy bean if he comes too close to you. You must convince him that he is persona non grata to really make this work! Now you might also like to try out the full ears back treatment just to make 100% sure that he feels unwanted and most sincerely unworthy of your affections. During this time, never once forget to fuss your Mummy and show her undying devotion on an epic scale! This will add to your Daddy bean's frustration and a growing desire to be one of your "chosen few", if you feel it's necessary even start to let some male visitors fuss you while rejecting your Daddy totally. Oh yes your Daddy must feel total and utter rejection, even bordering on thought that you might actually hate him! Soon you will see he'll be putty in your paws... ;)

Now that you've built your rejection of your Dad's advances to a massive crescendo, his self esteem has hit rock bottom and he can clearly see that you have replaced him in your Mummy's affections too; phrases like "I'm going to bed early tonight dear, the cat wants to cuddle, don't bother coming up early yourself you know he doesn't like that" should start appearing. When this happens you'll be ready for Step 3 as at last your Dad will know his place in life! :)

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Ten Steps to a Better Dad! ;)

Recently I have noticed a worrying trend amongst my friends, that of poor parenting from their beans... It seems that quite often the Daddy beans are worse than the Mummy ones, or at least that's the case here. So I have decided to dedicate one day a week for the next 10 weeks into offering you all a little advise on wrapping your Daddy beans around your little dew claw! ;)

Step One:
Operation Dad should commence with the establishment of a few basic facts, mainly that you see your Mummy as a far superior bean. In fact it will help your cause to flaunt yourself at any strange lady who happens to come and visit, this will establish in your Dad's mind a feeling of deep inferiority - this should trigger his male desire to always be better than most women at stuff! ;) Walking past your Dad and ignoring him while focusing lavish attention on your Mummy will only but enhance this feeling to grow within him. When snuggling in bed with your Mummy, make sure that you always give your Dad a goodly view of your butt, especially after consuming large amounts of volatile cat food if you get my drift! ;) There is after all nothing quite like a good blast of bad cat gas to gain a persons attention... Now remember to cuddle close to your Mummy during the night and push hard with your paws against your Dad, so that he knows your trying to usurp his position in bed. By now he should be utterly convinced that you're Mummy's little lover boy and he's barely tolerated at best. You'll need to keep this up for a while if you really wish to train your Dad, as bean men are notoriously stubborn about changing their ways...

Once your Dad is totally convinced that you barely tolerate his existence, you too will be ready for the second step towards a Better Dad! Drop by next week to find out how to start moulding your Dad into the kind of Daddy a cat really wants... :)

Monday, 10 November 2008

Mancat Monday Moaning...

OK, so it wasn't a "Bad" weekend as such, but I didn't get enough Mummy time and am therefore suffering from a lack of snuggles... It seems My Mummy felt she needed to go help Dad and D'boy tidy up Dad's Mum's Garden, which meant I had to go one whole night without My Mummy cuddling me! :( I know it's utterly horrific treatment and I think I might have to take strategic action, but for now I'm working out exactly what form that might take as I hear My Mummy's going to be abandoning me for another 50 squillion hours to go to "Fizzy-O" midweek. What exactly is "Fizzy-O" for a start and why can't they do it without My Mummy being there?! Surely they should understand I'm a cat with needs and one of those is constant access to My Mummy!

Mummy keeps telling me it's not going to take a long time and it's going to help her left shoulder that hasn't worked properly in about 12 months now... Honestly I don't see a problem with the shoulder myself, I mean she can still snuggle and fuss me - so what's all this about seriously restricted range of movement and a need for "Fizzy-O" and then a cortisone injection? The last I heard cortisone's what they used to try and stop Tigmut'hep over grooming his belly, I'm sure I'd have noticed if My Mummy was over grooming her own belly too! ;) So why all the fuss and bother? Really what they need to do is put her on complete bed rest with hot feline therapy sessions and by that I don't mean my naughty little sister burrowing her way down the bed in the middle of the night to lick My Mummy's arms before crawling off to sleep by Dad's legs... Oh no I mean my snuggling in My Mummy's arms for hours on end - I mean surely there's nothing else out there that couold possibly make her feel as good as that?! ;)